Learning to live again (Finnick x Reader Love Story)
by xoxoKatnissMellark12xoxo
Summary: You (the reader) just won the 71st hunger games and is lost and empty. Who saves you? Finnick Odair himself. First character x reader story please be nice xoxoxo suck at summaries just read and enjoy and imagine yourself obviously :)


_This is my first character x reader story so I hope I do it right if not please don't be mean about it! I really hope you like it I spent a long time on it and I hope it meets your expectations!_

_Disclaimer: I do not own the hunger games or any of the characters _

Learning to live again (Finnick x reader love story)

I've been home for three weeks now. It feels like three years. My life is even worse then it was before my games, which was not meant to be part of the deal. My entire family is dead. When I refused snows offer to make me a prostitute he killed them all. I thought he was bluffing. I thought he was bluffing. I thought he was bluffing. Now I spend my days perched on my windowsill looking out into the streets of Victors Village in District 4 and watch the other victors live. It provides minimal comfort knowing just because my life has taken a giant halt no one else's has. The only time I've moved from this spot is to go to the bathroom and when I do I fall over because my legs are so stiff from minimal movement that I then have to hang onto the wall to steady me. I haven't showered. I'm still in the clothes I wore when I arrived back the only difference is that I have a massive woolly blanket over me now to keep me warm in my empty, cold mansion.

Someone comes over twice a day. I don't know who it is because I never actually look at them, my eyes remain on the streets, I don't take notice of them not because I'm purposely ignoring them but because I'm lost in my own empty nothingness and as hard as I try I cant fight my way back to reality. Whoever it is feeds me. Never much because my body cant consume it because I ate next to nothing in my games and my body cant hold the food down, but enough to keep me alive and healthy-ish. Today is different though.

I hear them come in and remove their shoes. I hear them ramble through the kitchen to make me something. After a while I hear their footsteps come towards me. I feel them move my legs gently so they sit in front of me at the window. This is usual but the difference is is that I feel the urge to see who it is. I want to know who has been taking care of me. I want to know. So I find out. I turn my head, which takes a lot of energy, and actually look and see who it is. It's the person I never expected to see.

"Welcome back to Earth my dear" They say charmingly with a sweet, gentle smile resting on their tan god like face.

Finnick Odair.

"Finnick?" My voice all scratchy from no use.

"Yes it is the Finnick Odair fawn away my dear!"  
"You've been helping me?"  
"Of course. I couldn't let a pretty little victor like yourself starve now could i?"  
"Why?"  
Suddenly he drops his Capitol self and I see another person not Finnick Odair but just Finnick.  
"Because. I know what you're going through. I understand. And I Felt terrible that I hardly helped you before and during your games because the Capitol wanted me to…take care of other business and Mags helped me a lot when I came home. So I wanted to help you, because you deserve it."  
"You know why he killed my family right?"  
"Yes. Yes I know why"  
"You're a prostitute?"  
"Yes."  
"To protect your family?"  
"At first like you I refused then he killed my mother who was my only family I had that was blood. However, he threatened to kill Mags and Annie so I did it."  
"I thought he was bluffing."

"As did I."

We were silent while he fed me. I couldn't help but watch him the entire time. He truly was a beautiful specimen I couldn't argue with that. However, I found his eyes to be most beautiful because they showed so much emotion. They told his story. When I first met him they – like his face – were masked with the Capitol Finnick Odair, but now he's mask is off and I see someone truly beautiful. What make him beautiful is his cracks. His cracks, which are now visible to me, let so much light in. I feel so very much that I like – love – him a little bit.

After he fed me he washed the dishes and I felt the sudden need to not only stand up but to live again. I want to live again. I slowly removed my blanket off my shoulders and I felt like I was just released from my personal prison, I couldn't help but smile for the first time. I slowly move my legs and place my feet on the cold floor and stood up and just in time too because Finnick returned and my due to lack of using them legs gave out and I fell, but he caught me.  
"Wow easy their Missy one milestone at a time." He was smiling as he said it and his eyes held happiness, relief, gladness that I wasn't dead inside. His arms where warm and secure around me I kind of didn't want him to let me go. I hoped he wouldn't ever. He steadied me and cautiously let go of me and I felt cold once he left, but that feeling was replaced with triumph that I was standing on my own too feet again. I turned towards him and looked directly into his sea green orbs.  
"I want to live again Finnick"

To an outsider I probably sounded mad. Maybe I was. But Finnick understood he smiled and grabbed both of my hands into his and I felt warm again.  
"And you shall."

Three weeks past and they felt like three minutes. I grew into a routine. Woke up in the morning, Meet Finnick at his house then go with him to Mags's and Annie's house and have breakfast with them. Make jewlerally with Annie. Garden with Mags and then go to the beach with Finnick and weave nets and fish or rest spend time together on the shore. It was a good routine, some would say it would be boring doing the same thing day in day out, but after what all of us have experienced in our lives we needed something that we knew wouldn't change we needed normality, simpleness. When I first met Annie I didn't know how to react to her. She was mad everyone knew that but it was a different type of mad. She wasn't mad in the respect where she needs a straightjacket, she is mad in the respect where she has her nightmares both when she is sleeping and awake. Which I don't think is mad at all. She has just seen too much. To me she is like a baby sister I've never had. She is sweet, innocent, and naïve and scarred. She is like a toddler. You cannot help but love her. In the beginning I questioned Finnick's relationship with her and wether it was romantic or not but he told me he could never love or be with her like that because it would be like taking advantage of her or he would feel like a paedophile because of how young her mind is now. Mags is all our mothers. She is mine, Annie's and Finnicks mother now that all our real ones are gone. She is especially Annie's because Annie lives with her she takes care of her more than any of us. She is also someone you cannot help but love. She is the greatest women to take three grown children under wing and protect them. Then there is Finnick. So far we are just friends but every time I am with him I fall more madly and more deeply in love with him. Sometimes at night after I have a really bad nightmare I run over to his place next door and he calms me down and then I usually sleep there with him. Mags tell me that we are meant to be and that we will one day be married. I just laugh. But secretly I pray its true.

One day three months after my games, two weeks before my victory tour, Finnick and I are weaving at the secluded beach that only we ever go to. Suddenly out of nowhere he asks me something.  
"What do you think about love?" He asks me.  
"What do you mean?"  
"What do you think love is?"  
"Well. I think its loving someone more than you love yourself. I think its when you would do anything for that person and you would give them everything you possibly can. I think it means that when your with that person you're a better more whole version of yourself. I think its when you hold them a warmth and fire spreads throughout your body and when they leave you suddenly feel cold and empty without them. I think it means they don't heal your wounds and scars but they love them and you love theirs and they don't heal them because not all wounds heal but they make you feel whole even when you have your cracks. I don't know that's just what I think it could be."  
The fact is is that that's what I know love is because that's what I feel with him. After my long monologue I finally look at him and see that he is looking at me deeply and his eyes say something new. Love.  
"Well then. It looks like I'm in love."  
"Really with who?"  
He doesn't reply with words. He replies with a kiss. Sealing us together in everyway possible. It was nothing like I thought it would be. I feel electricity under my skin. I feel butterflies in my stomach I feel love love love. The kiss gets deeper and more passionate and we don't let go we don't let go. It gets faster and more passionate and more full of love and seals us together even more and I know where this is going and I don't care. I want it to keep going I don't want to ever stop kissing him but I know I will eventually have to so I savour it I savour him. I memorise the way his lips feel against mine. I memorise the taste of his mouth, his tongue. I memorise the feeling of my hands through his hair. I memorise the feeling of his lips against my neck. I memorise the feeling of our bare bodies against each other. I memorise the feeling of his lips trailing down my body kissing every part of me. I memorise the feeling of us fully becoming one. I memorise it all. I memorise how every move he makes and every time he kisses me he does it with so much love it makes me want to cry. I memorise everything. I memorise us. And afterwards I feel so much smarter then I was before. 

When we get control of our breath again and our bodies have stopped shaking he says.  
"When all of this is over. Will you marry me?"  
I don't know what he means by when all of this is over. I don't know if that means something big is planned that will change our nation or anything but I don't think about that instead I reply with the only answer I could possibly muster.  
"Yes."

I finally understood what he meant four years later. The Quarter Quell was a surprise to us all. It fuelled us with anger and hatred for that man that doomed us all to a life of being Pawns on his large chess table. Of course Finnick was called. We all knew that would happen. It hurt so much to hear it though. I wanted to break down. I wanted to scream and cry but I couldn't I was numb. I was frozen. Annie was then called. That just made me angry. How people could send such a traumatised girl like Annie back into the arena it made me sick. I was going to volunteer but Mags bet me too it. When I asked her why she told me I needed to take care of Annie. She told me that even if I went in Mags could only look after her for maybe a year or two before she eventually died. She couldn't leave her alone. But she also said because Im to good a person to die. I have so much to live for. But its not true. Without her or Finnick I have nothing at all except Annie.

Them gone was the hardest time of my life. Even harder then my games. I distracted Annie as much as I could but eventually we found ourselves watching the games holding each other and crying every time we saw them. Especially when Mags died. It didn't last long though. Peacekeepers came and took us to the Capitol. There we met Peeta and Johanna. Johanna told me there was a plan for a rebellion against the Capitol and the head game maker and the President in District 13 and many of the victors in the Quell were behind it and the plan was to get Katniss out as she was the leader. Finnick was behind it. At first it angered me that he never told me. But after I saw what happened to Johanna for knowing about it I understood why. My torture was selling me. They were going to sell Annie too but I told them not to so they gave me more clients in exchange for Annie not to be touched. As much as I hated what they made me do I didn't care as long as Annie wasn't hurt.

We eventually were saved. I was reunited with Finnick at last. My time without him was pain that I cannot possibly communicate. It was as if I was dead and then being in his arms once more I was reborn. True to his word we were married. It was a beautiful ceremony but I wouldn't of cared if we were married in a storm covered in mud knowing that he would be my husband and I his wife was a joy that could I never thought id feel.

I was going to go and fight alongside Finnick. I trained and everything but then I fell pregnant with his child. Feeling he or she stir inside me was so miraculous and uplifting. Seeing Finnick talk to my stomach gave my butterflies. Seeing him cry and calling himself a horrible man for leaving me and his child to fight filled me with heartache. Seeing him go left me feeling empty. Feeling our child kick for the first time made me smile and feel whole again. Seeing Finnick walk through my door with scars all over him but a smile on his face made my cry tears of joy. Returning to District 4 again after the war with Finnick and Annie and knowing my child will be born in a peaceful world without the games made me the happiest women in the entire world. I now know that the best decision of my life was not when I said yes to marrying Finnick or even telling him that I wanted to live again but when I decided to turn my head to see who it was that was feeding me when I had no life in me. Not only was I seeing who was helping me but also I was seeing who was saving me. And that I will never regret till the day I die. I learned to live again.

The end.

Well I hope you all enjoyed that and I hope you all saw yourselves through that story! Originally I was going to keep it as the book (have finnick…cant even finish that without crying) but I couldn't do that to you guys. So I made it happy instead! Please favourite and follow and if you can leave a nice review because it will make me the happiest writer ever! Love you all xoxoxo


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